Love as a language & how to speak it
Sometimes, telling your partner how much you love them can be like speaking in tongues when it comes to the language of love.
Everyone receives and communicates affection in different ways, and the main objective is ensuring that nothing gets lost in translation. We all want to feel and express love to the best of our ability, to solidify compatibility and create harmony within a relationship, be it romantic or familial.
The most well-known styles of love can be categorised into five different ‘languages’; quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, and acts of service, as primary love languages.
Once we identify and work at using the relevant approach, we can better understand how to support each other and fulfill one another’s needs.
Do you know what your love language is? Here is some insight into each different love language, which we hope can help you and your loved one remain on the same page throughout your unique love story:
Quality Time
When someone finds the most validation in time actively spent on prioritising eye contact, listening, and hanging out, their love language leans more towards receiving another person’s dedicated time and attention.
Quality time is about intentional effort, so try to eliminate other distractions to show your loved one that you are in the moment with them. Making them feel like they’re the only one in the world speaks volumes when it comes to this love language!
Words of Affirmation
Verbal connection can be more important to some than others. When appreciation is expressed through spoken encouragement or acknowledgement, the person who receives and values this most resonates with the love language of, ‘words of affirmation’.
Telling this person how you feel about them and how much you appreciate them is what makes them feel most loved. An example might be, “It was really nice of you to cook dinner for us” or, “I loved how you made the most out of that situation”. Sweet hand-written post-it notes also go a long way in ensuring that extra special feeling for someone who feels affirmed through words!
Physical Touch
Physiologically speaking, physical contact triggers a release of feel-good hormones like serotonin and oxytocin which has also been said to be called the ‘bonding hormone’.
This kind of closeness is about hands-on contact and connection, which can also include small physical gestures such as putting your arm around someone in public or snuggling on the couch, which might mean more to someone than just saying, “I love you.”
These people feel loved when their partner shows affection through touch. This includes holding hands, kissing, cuddles, etc. which can make them feel appreciated, even and especially in platonic relationships.
Receiving Gifts
This language is not necessarily associated with materialism, it just means that a tangible act of love helps create a sense of feeling special.
If people give you things that represent their love, and it makes you feel the most appreciated, then this is your love language.
Receiving gifts can be seen as a symbolic way of showing your love to someone, needless to say, the person receiving said gift, may appreciate the process, effort and time put into a thoughtful present.
Acts of Service
This love language values actions which serve to help make the person’s life easier, where being shown you are appreciated means more than words ever could.
Being proactive in terms of kind gestures or lending a helping hand can express thoughtfulness. This might include figuring out what you can do to improve each other’s environment (completing chores etc.) which, in itself, can send a clear message of love.
When it comes down to it, the love language of ‘acts of service’ is about going out of your way to support someone meaningfully.